Little Johnny and his dad were on an overcrowded elevator. Suddenly a lady in the front turned around, slapped Little Johnny's dad, and then left in a huff.
"That sure is a nasty lady," Little Johnny's dad said.
Little Johnny remarked, "I didn't like her either, Daddy. She stepped on my toe, so I pinched her butt."

Mom was standing at the sink one morning washing dishes in her gown. Little Johnny came in, raised her gown and looked under it, and she isn't wearing any panties.
Little Johnny asked his mother, "What's that?"
She replied, "That's my beaver."
Little Johnny took another look and said, "Mom that must be one mean Son of a Bitch."
"What makes you say that?" the Mother replied.
"Because he has shit in one eye and blood in the other!"